Romance. Ugh. This is a subject that I struggle with a little bit because I'm not really one for the ooey-gooey stuff. Don't get me wrong. I love a good love story. But whenever I sit down to right a love scene I'm constantly second-guessing myself and trying to keep it from becoming cheesy. Now I'm pretty sure I will NEVER be a romance writer, (no offense to any romance writers) and you might be of the same mindset. However, there are elements of romance in most stories, and I have found that there are some things that you have to be watchful of.
Love story vs. Lust story. Our society seems to be under the impression that love and lust are the same thing. Movie directors and writers alike fail to distinguish between the two. I would boldly say that lust stories are put forward to gratify our sin nature whereas a good love story is affecting and meaningful. Love has to do with affection for a person, and it often shows itself through self-sacrifice and service to the individual loved. But lust has to do with selfish desire. You can go ahead and write your lust story if you want to. I just don't want you to confuse love and lust because they are not the same. Don't present one as the other or visa versa.
I'm not condemning kissing or physical touch in stories. Relationships between characters can be used in powerful ways. But if that's ALL that's ever happening in your story, it gets old pretty fast. Any scene that doesn't empower your story and have a purpose should be taken out. So throw out the unnecessary touchy-feely! That's not all that love is!
In the story I wrote, two characters end up falling in love. How often did they kiss? Once at the end. When did they admit their love for each other? At the end. Did they ever embrace? Only a few times. Not a very enthralling love story, you may say (and you may be right). But in that story, I tried to convey love a different way, where the guy gives the girl his cloak when she's cold. Where the girl jumps in front of an arrow to save him. Where the guy carries the girl when she's too tired to go any farther. That, in my mind, is a more powerful representation of love.
Developing the relationship. Call me a killjoy if you like, but I don't believe in love at first sight. People don't meet and fall in love in two seconds. They might take a liking to one another pretty quick. At first sight, they might be attracted to one another. But love doesn't just suddenly happen. It develops as you get to know the person better. They might not even like each other at first! Believe it or not, my characters (mentioned before) met when the guy tried to rob the girl with a knife! There certainly wasn't any "zing" between them until quite a while later.
Keep it real. No one is perfect, and therefore no relationship is perfect. People, even if they are "in love" aren't always going to get along perfectly. Love is not all rainbows and butterflies! It is *shudder* commitment and sacrifice. Again, rainbows and butterflies are just fine, just don't forget to include the other, that is, if you want things to be realistic. And we already established that the more real things become to the reader, the more enthralled they will become.
These are just my own personal opinions on this subject. If you disagree with me, that's perfectly fine. You can write romance into your story (or leave it out) however you want! It's YOUR story. But I think that we can do a better job, as a society, of showing what love really is.
(Thank you for listening to my ramblings. If you have any input, please comment below.)
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